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Songs to write home about Vol: 1 (a parody album)

by The Stolen Stitches musical sideshow

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1.
I guess I grew up as a carnivore eating steak every night never need no salad fork Till I found out the butcher shop had closed bought out by vegetarians who moved in next door well I grew up tall, I grew up lean I swore after age 6 id never eat a green bean But now im eating food that comes from the tree's a little salad dressing tastes alright to me Well thank you Newman's own Old Italian dressing croutons in my salad I am eating in heaven and ah, I ain't becoming no vegan ya see but theme crisp old greens taste alright to me Well thank you Newman's own Old Italian dressing croutons in my salad I am eating in heaven when I go to the salad bar I can't stay long cus they'll kick me out after their greens are gone After their greens are gone..... So im at the salad bar which dressing should I choose got so many fresh veggies man you know I can't lose Never traveled so far until I ate this food I swam in a thousand islands just this afternoon well my plate is stacked as wide as can be Picking any bright color that I can see Im gonna throw some green inside of my jeans theirs nutrition in my pants if you know what I mean Well thank you Newman's own Old Italian dressing croutons in my salad I am eating in heaven and around here the dressing never runs dry so you don't have to eat with those tear's in your eyes Well thank you Newman's own Old Italian dressing croutons in my salad I am eating in heaven when I go to the salad bar I cant stay long cus they'll kick me out after their greens are gone .
2.
Go on and plug in that razor cus no shave vember is ending for you you and me and some shaving cream and ill shave you tonight.....alright well you know this beard cannot stay and how I wish, I wish it weren't so So take this aftershave, and splash it on me We'll turn the clippers to number three Shave tonight Lets shave the beard all off no more stubble tomorrow it'll be gone 2x There's a line, on your body runs from your chest, down to your pubes five o clock shadows, are not desired lets turn that clock back.....Maybe ta two? Well it ain't easy, when the blade runs dry darling please, don't start to cry cus you know that back hair has got to go....oh and lord I wish It wasn't so, but were gonna Shave tonight shave the beard all off no more stubble tomorrow it'll be gone 2x
3.
Because you know im all about that bass bout that bass No trout Im all about that bass bout that bass no trout Im all about that bass bout that bass no trout Im all about that BASS BASS BASS BASS Ya its pretty clear fishing's what I do But I never pay for groceries I live off god's food Cus I got them blood balls that all the fishes chase and ALL THE RIGHT REELS, IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES I read the magazines live at bass pro shop it's the only place I need the only place I shop if you got a bass master 7RG then raise em up cus of every inch of it is perfect from the rod to tackle box Ya you give a man a fish on a plate he will eat for a day But if you teach him to fish all his troubles will melt away And you know my girl don't like when I skip work and head down to the lake But I don't hear no complaints when theirs seafood stacked on her plate Because you know im All about that bass bout that bass no trout 3x I've got a BUCKET HAT!!! it's where I keep my fishing license at and you know im rocking waterproof Boots and pants Im here to tell you when im walking down the street you'll think im on deadliest catch Cus you give a man a fish on a plate he will eat for a day but if you teach him to fish all his troubles will melt away And you know you don't have to ask where ill be when 5 o clock calls Just get on down in your truck Meet me at that old fishing hole.. Because im all about that bass Bout that bass No trout Im all about that bass bout that bass no trout 4x got talking fish all over my place...ya because im all about that bass, bout that bass.......
4.
Well I gotta new life you would hardly recognize me Im so crass eating from dumpsters sleeping under bridges too but im gonna travel and get shitty face tattoos Its an idea of mine I FLEW A SIGN MADE MONEY IN NO TIME I FLEW A SIGN NO USE COMPLAINING WHEN I COULD BE SPANGING I FLEW A SIGN MADE MONEY IN NO TIME I FLEW A SIGN THIS IS THE LIFESTYLE I CHOOSE TILL MY SEMEMSTER IN SPRING TIME (TILL MY SEMESTER IN SPRINGTIME) You know im so traincore I don't even walk, its freight train all the time don't know where im going just know I got more punk points than YOU under a dirty bridge there's some experience points waiting for me cus only true crustys got Hepatitus C I FLEW A SIGN BE ON LATFO IN NO TIME I FLEW A SIGN CARHART GEAR MATCHING THE MAC BROOK PRO IM PACKING I FLEW A SIGN MADE MONEY IN NO TIME I FLEW A SIGN THIS IS THE LIFESTYLE I CHOOSE TILL MY SEMEMSTER IN SPRINGTIME WELL I FLEW A SIGN AND SOMEBODY GAVE ME A DIME AND THEN A BAG OF FREE MCDONALDS FOOD I SAID SPANGING ISNT.......A CRIME I FLEW A SIGN MADE MONEY IN NO TIME I FLEW A SIGN THIS IS THE LIFESTYLE I CHOOSE TILL MY SEMESTER IN SPRING TIME

about

This is a mixture of my parody songs. Volume 1

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released September 8, 2015

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about

The Stolen Stitches musical sideshow Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

A unique blend of dark humorous folk songs about the devil, mixed with real life Sideshow acts and some rag time piano..

Defiantly not your typical Wagon wheel folk punk

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